Rabu, 31 Desember 2008

I win for "Grossest New Year Anyone Can Probably Be Experiencing"

Happy new year!

Contrary to the false alarm on my wikipedia entry that proclaimed I died on Xmas day in Dallas, I am alive, kicking, and apparently, blogging too!

More about that later.

As I was saying, Happy New Year!

You know who is NOT happy today?


You know who is even more unhappy than me today?

The thousands of maggots that lived in my fridge and just got killed.

Bon Appetit! May I tempt you with some nuggets perhaps?

(Although maggots probably do not know it's New Year today... But still... Generally an unhappy day for them.)

Yup. Disgusting.

You are probably wondering why my fridge was in this state. Maybe one day Mike and I will look back upon this story and laugh about it, but not right now.

So anyway... As you already know, we left on 10th of Dec for Dallas, and just reached Singapore on NYE at 1am. That's 22 days including time zone differences.

Before we left the house, we made sure all windows got shut and turned off all our electrical applicances.

Mike said, "Let's just hit the braker, make sure everything is off."

"Okay!" I chirped.

So with that, we turned off the main power supply and left the house with no electricity on - at all.

Two hours later, we were seated on the plane to Korea when I gasped.

"What?!" Mike said.

"The fridge. Oh my god," I replied.

"Oh shit... It's off isn't it? Oh shit." Mike sighed. "I'm so sorry baby... I just didn't realise..."

"Me neither... Oh well, it probably would just go bad... Flies can't go in and lay eggs, can they? It's sealed shut..."


Little fuckers!!!!!!!!!

The moment we opened our door, the stench was so overpowering it seriously like... knocked me backwards. The entire house stank so bad, I had gagging reflexes as I ran to open the balcony door and all windows.

The fridge had a pool of ambiguous brown liquid leaked out underneath it.

That brown liquid had flies on it.

"Maybe it's melted chocolate. I have some chocolate inside," I said hopefully. Doesn't smell like it though.

"I'd bet it's the ground beef..." Mike being ever the pessimist.

We knew we had a packet of nuggets (sealed) some hot dogs (sealed), and some ground beef (not securely sealed in cling wrap). That's all the meat we had.

We were both wrong.

We turned on the fridge to freeze whatever vermin which might be living inside to death first, and finally worked up our courage to open the fridge door the next morning.

Armed with insecticide, we opened it and jumped away in case anything would hop out and leech themselves onto us.

A cloud of opaque air gushed out of the freezer...

OMG....... The smell...... The wiggling of thousands of worms......

I've never been more disgusted in my whole fucking life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Are you taking a picture?!!" Mike said indignantly at me as I clicked away. Yeah... Good blogging material what!

"Do you really want to remember this moment?" He asked amidst making gagging noises.

"Might be funny later,"
I shrugged.

No such thing as 'bad time for camwhoring'

And in case you are wondering, the white towel is my gas mask for the day.

So we started cleaning it - Throwing away EVERYTHING inside.

The brown liquid came from a hugeass packet of frozen (once upon a time) chicken breast fillets that we both forgot existed.

It is so muthafucking soggy and disgusting.

The ice trays had ice in it and dead maggots UNDERNEATH the ice.

I only took one picture of the maggots because I ran away after that. Those you see is just a small part of what was actually there.

The inside of the fridge had way more, and there was a palm-sized area that was soooooo full of eggs stuck there, the entire area was just brown in colour.

The smell... Did I already talk about the smell??

It smelt exactly like how the lizard that dead in my computer cables smelt like. Like a somewhat salty, sour smell. A little like dried sotong but 1000 times worse.

And... It goes deep into your nose canal and stays there so that you can still smell it hours later. If you breathe through your mouth, you can even taste it somewhat.

Mike shoo-ed me away to hose all the maggots away... He is so goddamn brave, I tell you.

My hero. He told me to mosaic his ugly clothes.

One hour later Mike cleared most of the stuff off. Maggots 101: They are sticky!

My turn. I scrubbed "egg marks" off with a toothbrush, wiped down all nooks and crevices with a soapy hand towel, then wiped down all surfaces with a dettol-infused hand towel (burns like bleach), then wiped everything with soap again.

All while gagging consistently at the horrible smell.

Dismantled the fridge to clean everything out. The maggots even got inside the back plate of the fridge, those little fuckers!!

Poured Dettol down every possible surface

Dettol is awesome!

And then I squeegeed maggot eggs and excess water off the wet floor into the drains.


We thought after few hours of slogging (mostly Mike slogged coz he reckoned it is his fault) the fridge is spanking clean, even though it still stunk like hell.

So we let it air-dry, went out for lunch, and brought charcoal deodorizer and baking soda.

When we went back home, to my horror, I saw a maggot crawling on the goddamn door! WTFWTFWTF!!! How is that possible?!

(I sprayed it with insecticide to watch it die first. That felt good.)

The answer was that the insides of the rubber flaps that sealed the fridge shut was still bloody infested with eggs and maggots!!! Muthafuckers!

Honestly man... We should've just thrown the bloody fridge away and bought a goddamn new one for our landlord. He can't possibly mind... This fridge is so old and small anyway.

About $400 for a fridge like that... I'd pay double that amount to not have to deal with this shit!

Imagine that.

Some unknowing fucker would open that fridge door, thinking he might be able to get a free fridge from the rubbish pile... AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! It won't be us getting that gush of maggoty fragrance! Orh bi for being a greedy poke!

Sigh. If the smell doesn't clear up, I'm really gonna get a new fridge. I honestly cannot imagine eating any food out of that fridge, ever again.

Cheers!Aren't you happy you are not me?!

Well... The good thing is... my year can only get better!


So yeah... Someone edited my wiki page to say that I died in a car crash during Xmas day when I was driving alone in Dallas. The person even included the time - approximately 5.30pm!

Creative, huh?!

At precisely that time I was actually in Mike's mom's place eating a sumptuous Xmas dinner of Alaskan crab legs dipped in melted butter.

I was aboard the plane on NYE and was just about to turn off my phone before the plane took off, when Ming called me all the way from Bangkok to USA through Singaporean phone lines.

"Are you ok?" he asked. "Someone wrote on your wiki page you died!"

"Of course I am ok lah! Won't it be fucking scary if I am dead and talking to you now?" I laughed.

After I hung up I felt a bit scared. What if my plane crashed and I died on NYD? Won't it be infinitely morbid?!

But I survived the flights even though they were not very pleasant.

Good joke, whoever you are!!!!!!

I hope you die in a car crash too! :) Remember to let me know during your last surviving moments so I can update your wiki page also, k? What do you mean how? Email me lah! Xiaxue@gmail.com! Oh right... You don't have a wiki page because you are not important enough. Oh well...

But honestly though... I quite understand.

I mean this fucker, whoever he is, actually was online during Xmas day, went to the wikipedia page of a virtual stranger, and entertained himself by editing it with my death.

That about sums up the Xmas Day plans of the biggest loser in the world.

Honestly, shouldn't you be eating turkey with parents who love you and opening presents from people who cared about your existance??

I sound like I am angry, but I actually found this whole thing pretty funny.

Shin Min also called me to ask me to comment about this! They must have found it funny too. :D

I'll update with USA pics soon!!



Just a friendly reminder not to ever turn off your fridge!!
You have read this article with the title Desember 2008. You can bookmark this page URL http://hollywoodshiningstar.blogspot.com/2008/12/i-win-for-new-year-anyone-can-probably.html. Thanks!
Minggu, 21 Desember 2008



Ever felt like this before?

After a long day of wearing lens, or just being awake, your eyes feel so lifeless and tired?


I just got sponsored Garnier's Light Brightening Eye Roll-On!!

It's a great invention and I'm surprised that it took humankind so long to develop something like this!

The Roll-on comes in a slim and cute little tube like this - and to soothe puffy or tired eyes, all you have to do is to roll it on!

It uses a state-of-the-art roll-on to massage away tiredness from your eyes, and massaging is a technique used by experts to boost natural draining and decongest tired eyes!

With a stroke of genius, Garnier also added CAFFEINE into the roll-on - that acts as a natural simulant to boost your circulation and give an extra perk to your eyes!

Cleverly, the roll-on comes with an extremely convenient little metal ball to aid your application.

The metal ball is cold and damn shiok! Now I won't fall asleep during MJ anymore!!

No more messing around with eye creams (God I hate those, I can never properly dig the cream out with long nails) or feeling ridiculous when you bring your eye cream out with you.

This one fits right into any handbag!

I think it's perfect for long plane rides. :)

Time to give it a test!

Putting it over my eye area!

Nice cooling effect as the liquid immediately gets absorbed by my skin.

Blend it in.

And you get happy eyes!!!

Garnier also came up with a cute application for phones!

Ever wished you had a Magic 8 ball to bring around with you in case of tough decisions? Well, here's one for your phone, FREE!!

You can download it here and it's super easy!

The game is really simple - your sunny yellow roll-on helps you decide whether you should ROLL WITH IT, or ROLL AWAY!

Rotating... Hurry up, my important life decisions are depending on you!

Well, since I was at home that night, I obviously had loads of things to decide on.

For example ---

I am peckish! Should I or should I not?

Let the game decide!!!!!!



This means I can't eat my Jagabee!!

I don't care!!!


It's totally telling me to Roll with it!!!!!!

Having satisfied my stomach, I skip around trying to find other things to Roll with.


Cute guy sleeping!!!!!

Should I go kiss him???????

Let the game decide!!!!!!!!!!


Must be a technical glitch.

Woohoo! This time it's right!!

Muah muah muah muah muah muah muah muah!!!!!!!


Remember to visit Rollwithit.com.sg to download this cute game on your mobile for free!

** I do not encourage using this method to decide on whether you oughta murder tonight, or do other illegal things. I'm quite sure the judge will not accept this as an excuse.

P/s: Yes I am aware I got loads of black roots showing. I'm about to go dye it already la, ok! Quit harping on it!
You have read this article Advertorials with the title Desember 2008. You can bookmark this page URL http://hollywoodshiningstar.blogspot.com/2008/12/roll-with-it.html. Thanks!
Rabu, 17 Desember 2008

Greetings from USA!!

It's minus 2 degrees here in Dallas and I'm having a great time!!

I'm staying with Mike's brother Daniel this time round and thank god for heaters! USA is great**, but I'm missing Singapore already!!

Here are the things I take for granted in Singapore. Count yourself blessed if you are sitting in your Singapore home right now!!

1) You don't sit on a toilet seat and jump up in horror, screaming "Sweet Mother of God!"... Because it is freezing cold.

2) You can order a steaming hot plate of kang kong almost anywhere. I crave for it so much, I'd maim a child now for it. I told Shuyin this and she sent me an email with a bigass picture of a plate of kangkong. Nabeh.

3) No need to spend 20 minutes moisturizing everything from your face to your legs to your nipples after showering everyday.

4) I miss my hammies so much... :( I know this is not really relevant to Singapore but I'm just saying.

I went to this bar/restaurant called Twin Peaks with Mike and his friends the other day. It's like Hooters but even less subtle.

So anyway, the waitresses there are wearing these weeny checked red shirts that's midriff-bearing and tied in between their boobies! And really short skirts and boots.

OMG I actually found a picture!!!!!!!!

Everywhere I turn to, tits are overflowing! And these are not tits that belong to some fat old lady, mind you. The girls are fucking hot!

This seems to be a trend prevalent in America - the hot chicks are all waitresses of some sort!

I understand that hot chicks get more tips and so most of them naturally would be in the service industry, but why???

I don't like it!

When I go to a restaurant with some guy on a date, I don't want my server to be hotter than me and shoving her tits into my date's face, right??

Megan Fox used to be a waitress.

Can you IMAGINE being served by her?? And your boyfriend looks at you and thinks... "Why my girlfriend's tits so small/eyes not as mesmerizing/does not have flowing bronze hair/look like a goddess/etc?"

Maybe I am just being insecure.

But anyway, I also don't get why pretty girls will get more tips than ugly ones. I mean, men would tip them more, surely, but people like me will definitely tip them less.

Me, served by ugly waitress: "Oh go get rhinoplasty... Here, have 20%."

Me, served by pretty waitress: "Get your fucking tits out of my face! And fuck you for having nice legs too! Here's 5% for you. Life ain't so lucky for you now, is it??!?"

Shouldn't this sorta equalise the whole system, or are American girls really so self-assured and confident that they don't care?

**In the South people are are ultra nice, shopping is awesome, and 900 TV channels (plus two porn channels) to choose from.


Check out new videos!!!


I was told Wanbao or Shin Min went to cover this video.
Why, thanks for the plug!

Go watch! I do botox and lip fillers!! Dr Georgia Lee is awesome!


Kaykay and Paul have some childish fun in some unfortunate person's office.
You have read this article with the title Desember 2008. You can bookmark this page URL http://hollywoodshiningstar.blogspot.com/2008/12/greetings-from-usa.html. Thanks!
Selasa, 09 Desember 2008

Jetting off!

Sorry for neglecting this blog for so many days! And I'm gonna be neglecting it for even more days coz I'm flying off to USA...

Weds (today) at 10pm! You are welcome to stalk me at the airport - I'm the one with the patent baby pink chioest ever luggage. MUAHAHAHA!!


Well, I'll be bringing my laptop and updating whenever Mike bothers to figure out how to connect to the wireless network at his brother's house where we will be staying in.

I'm gonna stuff my face with Chicken Express (it's like KFC but less salty and damn juicy!!) and Sonic's cheese tots once I get there! And a corn dog. Like seriously, why isn't that sold here?

I'll be back in SIN on 1st Jan 2009. Woe is me, celebrating multiple new years (time zone) in an airplane!

Last year the same thing happened and I thought that people would whoop in the airplane or have a nice countdown - you know, plane gives out free champagne to everyone... Confetti in air... People hi-fiving each other... Giving out hugs... Is that too much to ask for??


Nothing of that sort.

All I got were mopey passengers and stewardesses who delibrately take a long time to get me my water... all coz they were unlucky enough to have to work on New Year's eve and day.

Well fuck you all, fucky people!

Fuck you all is totally my new in phrase. I've been using it a lot on Mike and it really irritates him. When he says the same thing to me I start crying and acting like he is very abusive and I'm really hurt.

Mike: "Baby... Can you wash the bedsheets today?"

Me: "FUCK YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Mike: "What?? Well, fuck you!"

Me: "Fuck you right back!"

Mike: "....."

Me: -begins to cry-

Go watch new videos!!


Hair curling! Just like many of you have requested.


Ever heard that chugging 2 bottles of sprite and eating bananas will definitely make you puke? Me neither! But Paul and Kaykay have to test out this urban legend!
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